How Long Should This Sentence Be? Bad Question

Pardon Me While I Lodge a Complaint

People write short these days. We’re told to write short. Make it punchy. Make it pop! Semicolons, conjunctions? Screw ’em. A sentence should be short enough to make a writer sweat trying to tighten, crimp, and cram it all in before the window closes and the lights go out.

I’ve been a professional editor since 1998, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned …